I finished Fury: A Memoir by Koren Zailckas last week and have been spending the last few days really digesting it. I received it for my birthday in October but had not read it from start to finish yet. The friend who gave me the book thought that I would find it incredibly relatable…and I guess my review can start with the fact that she must be a very good friend because she was absolutely right!
What do you think motivated the author to share his or her life story?
Koren initially begins with the fact that she was intending to write something different and more clinical about anger, but through heartbreak she began to explore the origins of her feelings of anger and emotional suppression that were at the root of other problems in her life. Most of the book chronicles her journey of trying different methods, therapies, ideologies, and approaches to figure out what is the cause of the emotional oppression that she feels.
How has this book changed or enhanced your view of the author?
I didn’t really have an impression of her before reading the book, but afterward I feel that she was honest and didn’t hold anything back. I found the book to be incredibly relatable to a lot of the problems I had experienced since my own major break-up and problems that I have with my family – I gained a lot of new insight that I have been able to use to gain new perspective on my own problems.
Meaningful quotes from Fury: A Memoir:
“Strong emotion wasn’t destroying my life so much as my heart-palpitating fear of it.”
“Human beings seem willing to pay whatever price is necessary to feel loved, to belong, to make sense, and to feel as if they matter, even if the price exacted doesn’t really accomplish that.”
“It is possible, [I think], to emote without being rejected, to be honest and still be loved, to ask for what you want without seeking permission.”
“I’d felt deficient, self-conscious, and judged. I’d felt like I couldn’t trust myself enough to even know whether I was really dead. Even embalmed, I’d been convinced that I wasn’t exerting enough, wasn’t doing it right, that I could do better at this business of being a corpse.”
“They were trying to tell me to address the things that were bothering me, at precisely the moment they arise, and not wait until I couldn’t shoulder them anymore.”
“I reread the message through the lens of defensiveness and built-up fear that I mistrust as my intuition.”
Would you recommend this book?
I would, but I do realize that many people wouldn’t get as much from it as I did. It gave an honest and detailed account of what happens when you are too afraid to feel, and are too afraid of getting hurt or worse, hurting others. I think that people who are struggling to be assertive or give themselves more emotional free-reign, that it may give a good perspective and not necessarily a “fix-all,” but the knowledge that they aren’t alone and that it can be worked through.
Happy Summer Reading all!